Frustrated.tv

Been busy trying to finish up my contract this week. Next week will have more time to write less content-oriented posts.

That being said, Happy Hump Day!

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Music Soothes The Savage Breast…err…Beast

A British company is developing computer chips that store music in women’s breast implants.
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This is a major breakthrough as women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them…

Happy Friday (at last) all!

Back later for Friday Farkisms…off to the orifice for the morning.

Every Humpday deserves a larf or two; Have a Happy One!

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Here is some advice from an expert:

1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home.
2. It’s important to have a woman who cooks from time to time.
3. It’s important to have a woman who keeps the house clean.
4. It’s important to have a woman who has a job.
5. It’s important to have a woman who likes you.
6. It’s important to have a woman who can be your very best friend.
7. It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
8. It’s important to have a woman who you can trust, who doesn’t lie to you.
9. It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed.
10. It’s very, very, VERY important that these nine women do not know each other

Sincerely,

Tiger Woods

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Little Blue Pill Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight when Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son’s medicine cabinet.
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He asked about using one of the pills.
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The son said, “I don’t think you should take one Dad; they’re very strong and very expensive.”
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“How much?” asked Grandpa.
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“$10.00 a pill,” Answered the son.
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“I don’t care,” said Grandpa, “I’d still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I’ll put the money under the pillow.”
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Later the next morning, the son found $110.00 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, “I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00.”
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I know,” said Grandpa. “The hundred is from Grandma.”

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Star Trek AND Monty Python!

More on that tomorrow….but I nearly peed myself watching this one…

Today’s Grab Bag o Stuff

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Caturday – Started posting this yesterday. …will be a regular Saturday feature.  We’re all cat fans in our house.  The origins of Caturday.
(K – pics will return – for some reason I can’t insert images today….for now, laugh at these!
Happy Caturday!

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Internet Finds

• Pizza Wierdness – bored with pepperoni cardboard pizza?  Try These! I’ve done the cheeseburger pizza, but the rest are…well…you decide.
• Stupid Gadgets – man/woman ever say “nothing” when you ask for gift ideas?  Have a spouse/mate who has absolutely everything.  Bet they don’t have most of these…imagine the fun in public restrooms you could have with item#10,  “Fore!”
• Tetris Reborn! – Warning, this game can be addictive….this version can also give you a headache…but it sure is unique!
• Sears, 1934! – Mmm – gotta love the “comfy” ladies attire on page 12…Yay for evolution
• Not content with looking like child-enslaving family crushing boobs, TLC is going into Kate for a 2nd helping!  I’m guessing she knows she and her kids are screwed so she might as well enjoy the ride…..though I suspect she was the one giving the rides at interview day with TLC.  They’re “giving her a show” but the Executive “Producer” didn’t know what “he was going to do with her yet”….egads.

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Friday Farkisms – usually on Fridays, purely for the alliteration.  The weeks favorite Fark-icles

Why beer is the latest hope in fight against cancer – ah beer – is there ANYthing you can’t do?  Now to find the answer to the real question left hanging by the article.  How much in a UNIT of beer?  Apparently I could be short of having the necessary 3-4 kegs a day!

(Some Nanny State)

Manitoba government tells teachers they can no longer penalize students for turning work in late. Good thing there are no such things as deadlines in the real world – Another fine example for Homeschoolers!

Half-ton pot stash washes ashore. Cops recover the 800 lbs.of marijuana and transport it to police station. Officials say the 400 lbs. have a street value of $500,000 and that once the investigation is complete all 100 lbs. will be destroyed in the 5lb incinerator tin behind Joe’s garage…

And Lastly – the weekly “AWwwww…” story (with video!) of the week just for wifey

Have a good week everyone.

By The Case..

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, “I must tell you all something.
We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.”

“Thank God,” said an elderly nun at the back. “I’m so tired of chardonnay.”

Gotta Hate ‘em.

They served a purpose in the 1930’s when work gangs consisted of 8-22 year old men/boys working 16 hour days in unmanageable conditions. Wages were harmonized and a standard work day was more or less established. People doing the same job now get “relatively” the same pay (not going down that rat-hole), and there are at least some standards across North America as to what you can and cannot do to your employees.

But now, with the Unions having taken over education and every manufacturing and trade industry, we have people working in manual labour positions getting paid $27.59 an hour to put 5 bolts on a wheel for 8 hours a day, and apparently Teachers at the college level who still haven’t learned that in the 21st century there is no guaranteed job, nor is there a guaranteed raise. In my opinion if you do a good job, better than Sally or Joe beside you, your pay should reflect that. If they don’t like it, then find another job work or work harder.

My Mixology course? Yeah – not so much. The teachers won’t sign a contract because they want a guaranteed 2.5% increase over the next two years. Never mind all the laid off and unemployed people out there who can’t go to school to reducate themselves because they cannot afford it…My contract is up at the end of the month – can I go on strike and ask employers for guaranteed income? No. So why does a Union get to?

My last class will likely be next week and the week after that the Teachers have voted to go on strike. Will I be signing up again if they do? Not likely.

Happy Thursday all. At least tomorrow’s Friday.

Halfway through another week – and first after going back to school.

I’m Taking Mixology at our local College as a means to an end. I used to have some of the best “work” hours working behind the bar during my 9 years working in restaurants/bars….and on top of being fun you get to meet a lot of interesting (and sometimes) strange people and get paid for it.

Thanks goes to Wifey who encouraged me to get out of the house after 4 years.

The most amusing part of the course is that (at almost 42) I’m the oldest in the class. The majority of the students in the class have never even set foot in a restaurant to work. One of them doesn’t even drink alcohol….but she’s registered in the Full Time Bartender course.

The ONLY disapointment (aside from not being able to mix drinks with REAL alchohol until later in the class) is that the Teachers may be going on strike after having been without a contract since August 2009…so my first class may be my last. That’s the universe for you.

More on that next week. So, for now, Happy Hump Day!

Ahhhh….no going anywhere I don’t wanna go today.

FAIL! – These are amusing.  My favorite is the very last image – @ about 3:04minutes into the video….but then again I’m a geek.

Happy Caturday! (a complete Fark reference)